30 Days of Kink.

So the dark and mysterious muse challenged me to do thirty filthy, kinky dirty depraved, fun things this month. (Well mysterious anyway, I don't actually know his race...)

I pointed out that it is already a week in and I haven't done 7 naughty things.

He explained that some could be done at once..for example (figured out later) #5, #13, and #21 could all be accomplished at once.

So the evolving list he and I came up with..(more he than I, a lot of them seem more than a might impractical to me. )

1. Sex in public. CHECK

Done. Parking Garage in Vegas after we left the Strip Club.

2. Fisting. Hmmm by whom to whom?

3. Snowball. Definitely do-able..but I'm not going to sneak a cumm-y kiss on hubby (or a stranger?) I'm going to announce with eye-to-eye contact that I am going to slurp all that cum out of that cock and feed it down his throat with my tongue...(can you tell this one got me going?) Or maybe #5 girl-girl action is savoring a cock together and finishing with a three-way snowball?

4. Rimming. Hmmm while queening or as a prelude to #13?

5. Girl-Girl Action! 'nuff said.

6. Pee Play. Hmmm one of those heat of the moment things...dunno if I could approach this as a pre-planned play date..can't imagine hubby going for it on either giving or receiving...(kinda germ phobic - not that urine is germy, but the ick factor is there)

7. Go back to Eric and Kellie's complex alone when they aren't there and lay out in a bikini till "The Peeper" notices me and then brazenly invite myself back to his apartment. (This was a nearly full-blown fantasy spun by Jim, and seemed at the time of discussion oh so do-able. It would totally work on Desperate Housewives!)

8. Meet and play with a "Secretly Bi" wife through craigslist ads. Discover enough specifics to meet husband too another way. Fuck him, preferably each individually in the marital bed. Tough logistics here, but pretty hot.

9. Masturbate un-noticed in a car with people walking by. Read this in a blog...and shamelessly ripped it off!

10. Use a fruit or vegetable in a way that the US Department of Agriculture does not have specific guidelines for. (I'm a little horny at the moment towards small-kernel-ed sexxy-nubby ears of corn.) Again this was from the above post, but didn't want to constrain my masturbatory tools lest I find a perfect parking-jilling spot but sans vegetable, Or meet a vegetable so hot I can't get it to the car before it ravishes me.

11. Photograph object insertion and submit to a porn-y fetish site. If I can get the corn to pose with me would that make me a "Corn Star" Groan! Corny! There were several submit a kinky pic suggestions in this list and it is starting to become a filler item. (Like that full filler feeling of a ear of Midwest raised corn fed corn.) I am getting the distinct impression that my muse who has keep his hands clean of any "direct" sexual involvement is hinting at seeing something visual...useful to know your foe's kryptonite.

12. Make oneself available to a virgin. This sounded vague until Jim explained that maybe the guy or girl doesn't want to be deflowered but wants advice, teasing, to explore me, etc. Hmmm that sounds interesting kinda like a sex-ed version of being the CPR model in first aid class...Wait if there's tongue involved, CPR class alone maybe can make the list here?

13. Fuck someone with a strap-on. Oh I like this one..on lots of levels. Hubby? Stranger? Girl? Guy? Hubby watch? Hear about? I gotta try this one in fantasy talk.

14. Be fucked with a strap-on. Hmmm if hubby was asked to sit and watch me take it from a hot girl...he and any other guy would drool at the thought...wouldn;t that be a great intro to cuckolding?...Hmm must star this one! note to self MUST acquire a strap on..Didn't Madonna buy one for Guy Richie? -Would be hotter to have husband along - or better yet have him buy it from a cute adult store clerk.

15. Come to work in a sexy pair of panties. Go home with out them. This came from his suggestion to give away a pair of panties like in a bar, or under the wiper blade of a hottie's car...I made it a little more work specific.

16. Exchange underwear with someone. This started as:trade hubby his shorts for a pair of my panties. And my skirt Jim adds. I sense a fetish here Jim. Does he want to play dress up? Sure, maybe he says but having seen my ass he says no skirt that fits that would fit his. Hmm a clue..watch for chubby guys leering my way.

17. Assign Jim and have him complete a sexual task. He objects on principle, and on the grounds that this is a list of kinky things for me to do. I assure him I will masturbate in a very sexual way when he has done so at my direction.

18. Have sex for money. Wow, blunt, Jim. I did post that ad to see what the going rate is for horny housewife hookers and didn't get any responses. Jim says, If I pimp you will you cum? How to resist such pimp-hand charm?

19. Double as a "Stunt Wife." This was a new one to me...apparently Jim made it up. He explained you go to their home, dress in wifey's clothes, get called by her name, and fucked in every way she is too prissy to accede to. (So what's your wife's name and when will she be out of the house for a few hours, Jim?) He reminds me that HIS wife in fact fucks like a porn star. His fantasy is to hire a call-girl for the FGE Full Girlfriend Experience. This sounds to me like risky no-condom fucking but with lots of tender kissing...Ok risk aside that does sound hot..

20. Have a three-way. MFM, FMF, MM with F watching? Slut's choice Jim smirked.

21. Have sex in a private room at a strip-club. (You can do that? really?)

Done. Again the Strip Club in Vegas....I din;t actually hop on his cock, but that was definitely sex..kind of a threeway two but Im saving that one for a real threeway.
22. Sex in a car. Yummy high school reminiscing. Not for hubby though he was a good boy...hmm how about I fuck hubby in the backseat of every model car I ever did it in? I'd need a pretty well stocked car lot for that!


This is probably what I was thinking when I had hubby rent the mustang in Vegas.
23. Fuck an old flame again. Ooh, that is a dangerous one.

24. Ask and old flame for at least copies of those Polaroids he took. This rather specific one came from us exploring #23 for possibilities and mentioning that the pictures were taken. When I laughed that its been a lot of years since, Jim assured me such a trophy is still tucked away somewhere...

25. Videotape a sexual act. Done but he says it doesn't count because I always erased the tapes afterward. We compromise and agree a camera phone video clip will suffice.

26. Have hot cybersex with someone and report the blow-by-blow. Since we were in YIM at the time I suggested we get that one checked off the list. Jim says that would be cheating. Duh? And? Interesting discussion where he did not deny that either during one of our chats or afterwards as a direct result of some fantasy we discussed he did willfully molest himself. Asked whats the difference, he explained less risk of simultaneous orgasm.

27. Masturbate to a phone conversation. "You mean Phone Sex?" he said. "No, I mean where the other person may sense some sexual tension (or not) but you are getting off on them not knowing." He protests that that is way dirty pool and to remind him not to call my extension at work anymore. Anymore? Oh my, I feel violated a little. In a slippery and delicious way.

28. Fuck The Early Bird. Not a lot of wiggle room on this one. Pretty specific. Jim points out he wants me, I want him all that's left is scheduling..This one seems scariest actually. Like for example #7 is person specific too, but in the unlikely event I did stalk and run into him, I can picture how I'd approach him, and whether anything happened would depend mostly on how skittish shy college boy is. Early Bird is a sure thing. I could see it on-going and that seems a bigger step than several nameless faceless fucks.


Been there, did him..want to do it again...
29. Crash a bachelorette party. Grope the stripper. Ok this one was from when Jim and I were talking about the strip club idea and I mentioned how I was never the sluttiest girl in the room at bachelorette parties. He said its because I knew the other girls...maybe...or because I always went with girls that didn't know me from sluttier days..but this sounded hot. I guess I could just go to a place with Chippendale's style dancers on any given Friday night and look for the giggling crowd of drunk girls...

30. Anal. Gotta have anal on any kinky list, right?

I can't believe I HAVEN'T done this in 30 days...I had pictured that with Marcus we would go "round the world" and try everything but even with all the time and privacym we didn;t get around to violating me in that way...have to hop on hubby maybve.

31. More fetish pictures submitted for all the inter-webs to see. And no not here. I figure if hubby ever found this I am just ready some kinky chick's fantasies. Hard to deny that's my moe with cum dripping down it for example. Jim steers this towards heels, stockings, lingerie, or all of the above. I point out fetish is pretty broad...ropes, spanking, bukakke, umm wait I should be able to think of lots...how sad...

last update 7/28/2010 gonna take more than 30 days to punch out all these chads.