Tentative Date.

Jen was emailed me today...We ended up on IM. I got the idea hubby was right there, and turned out he was. Awkward pauses ensued.  They were hoping I would stop by tonight. Jen knows why this isn't feasable, her hubby of does not.

My best plan in advance alibi is Wednesday nights so I suggested that.


I eventually encouraged Jen to call me and had her call when I knew my hubby was out. She got rid of hers so we could talk. I told her about my trepidations of keeping up the facade of my willing husband. She understands and we have a "return date" scheduled for the Wednesday a week after.

If I'm going to take the risk of not being where I say I am, I figure might as well plan on a hot time. We instead though are having a "get-to-know-you" dinner date at a restaurant with a little bar with probably lounge-singer live music. It's one of those hotels attached places. Busy when conventions (rare) are in town and dead other times..ought to be dead this time.

I told Jen about Mark offering to be a stand-in hubby. She giggled about that. She didn't think it would be "necessary" as her hubby is uncomfortable with actually meeting mine. Doesn't want to think too much about it. She didn't get (or was avoiding thinking about) that I was offering to have her spend some "quality time" with Mark and I. Baby steps.

What we have planned is killing time on or "return date" by actually going out with Diana that night. I don't know if I will introduce Jen to Diana as what the situation is, or leave it as "a friend" that needs to get out.

Wen hubby got home from his errands, I kinda attacked him middle of the afternoon or not. On the one hand I was good and horny, but I wasn't "there" in a way and I think he sensed it. It is not without its costs doing the things I have been doing.

I hope I don't regret this....

Today at lunchtime I saw Diana across the building and invited her along. Looking back I'm sure I was intending at some level to 'fess up about some of my recent activities. I think what prompted it was the delicious excitement of talking to Jen about my adventures. I had a friend like Diana in my single days and she knew everything. I realized talking to Jen that dishing scandalous dirt after the fact used to be half the fun. Since I need to be discreet, it makes sense to keep my mouth shut.

What doesn't make sense is talking to Diana. She can be a bit of a ditz at times. I got to thinking about it though and realized that all of the "TMI" incidents I could think of involving her were about her own life. I don't think I've ever heard her passing on gossip. She seems like the kind of person you can trust with a secret, but she has to know its a secret or she might well spill it accidentally.

I realized as well that she hadn't really shared much more than the vaguest of hints about her current sex life and that just isn't like her. So I asked. "How's your sex life?"

She was pretty non-committal. again not like her. I said so. "There's reasons..." says she.

"Oooo a secret?"

She kind of grinned. I pursued it a bit and offered a little tease myself.

"Did I ever tell you about the guy I know with access to rentals?" I went on to tell her a little about Gabe making it sound very casual (which it is) and kinda past tense. (Which it may head towards.)

I told her about how he has access, yada yada, and sometimes takes a girlfriend to one of them for a little privacy. I gave enough detail about the place that without really consciously meaning to I put myself in the room.

"Is he married?" she asked point blank.

"Uh, yeah," I said then joked..."But so am I so that cancels it out!"

She laughed at that, and eased into her situation. She has a guy, he's married, she made me promise not to guess but when she mentioned that he is part of the reason that she doesn't flaunt her love life around the office, I read between the lines it is a co-worker. Interesting...not gonna speculate...not gonna speculate....not gonna...hmmmm

I asked whether he was the jeaulous type...she was puzzled at first and then said, "No, why would he be? He is spoken for anyway!" but then added that she just doesn;t want to rub his face in her other interests so it doesn't look like she is pressuring him or playing games. Makes sense actually.

I comiserated and explained I worry that "Condo guy" is getting a little possessive and maybe jeaulous.

"Of your husband?!"

I realized I had really stepped into it here...I acknowledged that I had more than one interest out there...

"Wow, I wouldn't have figured!"

Neither of us really gave any juicy details, but I enjoyed the exchange.

I emailed Jen but it was sort of that whole friendship maintenance sort of thing, 'Hi, How are you...' etc I worry that I am sending flaky signals or rejection signals, which I am not. Just not sure what to do with her, (them) and worry she might be a little fragile about appearances, as she has mentioned it a couple of times, like "I realize I won't be everyone's type." I have tried to reassure her. She has great skin, a cute curvy figure, and a killer smile. She worries about 15-20 lbs which she carries pretty well in the pictures I think.

Cooling off...

It seems feast of famine...

Mark is always a little harder to pin down schedule wise, and for some reason I am not assertive with him, and he doesn;t push...he has asked me more about Jen but nothing much has happened there.

Jen and I email, but after the initial giddy flush of excitement we seem to be waiting forthe other to make some sort of move. I'm sure I'll have to be the one to initiate, but I just worry that the reality won't match the fantasy I have bulit up in my head..so kinda cooling off there..I'll do something eventually, but not sure what she wants/they want/Iwant, etc.

Gabe I am cooling off on purpose. He is starting to get under my skin. He sent a note this morning that said he'll be at "our place' in case I decide to drop by. Said he'll have a bottle of wine open..like I'm going to come back to work late AND drunk. I mean one or the other, am I right?

Meanwhile I am trolling online for something else. Like I have the time.

My dance card is pretty full...

I was pretty worked up last night with all the possibilities after talking to Jen. I had a vague idea of setting some groundwork to include hubby. It seems like a reasonable entry point and pretty non-threatening. I could either tell him the truth or parts thereof. Either he would be OK with a swap as it is, or if not, he sure isn;t going to object to another girl in our bed, is he?

I wasn't sure how to proceed so I started with a few verbal nibbles about Diana. I wondered aloud what she would be like if she were Bi. Hubby didn't have a lot to add to the speculation but had an agreeable grin throughout my musings. I wandered closer to the truth suggesting we look into where a plyable woman could be located that might be interested in a threesome. He was pretty mute on suggesting anything, though I know for a fact (obviously) he knows about Craigslist at the least. I suggested generically a personal ad or maybe a lesbian club. Both of us actually are truly ignorant of where such a club would be found. Decent size metropolitan area there has to be one.

It ended up being a pretty intense and therefore shortish session but as I told him, "I got mine."

I went back on Ashley-Madison on a whim this lunch hour because when you first sign up there is an option for a woman seeking a woman (or a man seeking a man for that matter) I hadn't selected that so I set up a shiny new profile and was amazed that in fact many of those ads are couples seeking a girl. Hmm something to think about but I can;t have hubby browsing there!

Meanwhile, I talked to Gabe a few moments ago by IM. He didn't mention his frantic emails of yesterday and I didn't bring it up. He was trying to commit me to a specific time for our next meet. I felt a little pressured and rebelled played dumb at the idea he was trying to close me. Salesmen. Always selling something.Come to think of it Mark is in sales too. Hmmm. So anyway I put Gabe off. He needs to cool off a bit I think. He doesn't have any real details about me, so I guess I don;t have to worry about him showing up at work or worse home, but still he is giving a needy vibe and that isn't attractive.

So I emailed Mark. He seems able to get his head around the idea that cheaters can't expect fidelity. I asked him how he would feel as a stand in for my husband if it comes to that with Jen. I explained his duties would be onerous and would necessitate him fucking another woman whilst I watch/help/participate but that I'd make the burden worth his while.

I told him it was unlikely though as Jen has permission to fuck my husband but a stand-in may be stretching her morals a bit.

I briefly considered sending a message to Brian who I appreciate waiting in the drawer obediently. But that seems a bit much. Like I said: my dance card is a bit full.

~update~

Mark fired right back saying he is "up" to the task. He asked why in the hell I didn't just tell her my handsome husband's name is Mark. I sent back explaining our heart to heart without going into her personal details...

hmmm perhaps Mark and June should seek out a couple....Ok this is getting complicated.

Partner in Crime?

Talked to 'Jen' today for quite a while. Got some things out on the table.

I had already admitted to her that hubby doesn't know I contacted them and might never know. That realistically it would be difficult to mention it to him after the fact and go through with a meeting if I had already spent time with them as a couple.

She admitted that although this had sort of evolved from an idea of her husbands when they couldn't find a single girl to join them, she loved the idea of some "alone time" with a couple herself. We talked about it in terms of cuckolding although I din;t use that term.

It seems that her husband is OK with her going with a couple, but its one of those close his eyes and not think about it things. He doesn't want to hear about it except as it pertains to the girl-girl stuff. I pointed out he could have serious regrets about it if he truly isn't into her being with the couple as a couple.

I ended up talking to him myself. I had told Jen to give him some privacy because I didn't want him to tell me in her presence what he thinks she or I want to hear. He admitted it made him nervous, but he said he was totally OK with her reciprocating on 'our end'. Bear in mind 'our end' is just me, actually. I pursued the thought pretty hard with him. Asking "Do you just want to see the two of us together and set a limit on what happens when Jen visits?"

He was pretty emphatic that although he is nervous he thinks it is exciting that she is as excited about the visit. She gave me the impression that she had kept to herself the excitement she felt about her freedom to be with both haves of the couple... Either she had been more explicit than she thinks or he more perceptive.

So point blank I said, "The deal I have with my husband is ANYTHING you do with me, he gets to do with Jen."

"Understood."

I went on to explain that depending on how things go, how we all feel, I intended to make any and everything available. "You realize that will likely mean I am watching my husband fucking Jen senseless?"

He got kind of quiet but As I probed further I realized he was kind of excited about it. It helped that I described in graphic terms what he could expect of me and to picture Jen would be doing the same things later.

When he gave the phone back to Jen we just chatted innocuously I somehow was having trouble going back and forth between them. Made me wonder how I would handle the two of them together. I ended up casually mentioning to Jen to call me when he goes out. I had for the most part talked to them from my car, occaisionally havinjg to watch what I say as I went in and stood in line for my lunch and did a coupld of errands.

I was picking up some things in an office supply store and it was pretty empty. I had that privacy in public illusion you get in public at the time. This is not when I was discussing anything graphic, but an odd half smile from a woman I ran into several aisles later made me replay it in my head wondering what i had said.

Its hard to think straight when in the throes of whatever it is I am in the throes of, so I better watch it.

So tonight Jen called me back after her hubby went out for a while. We really talked then. I was tempted just to give her this blog to bring her up to speed, but that is a Rubicon I don't think I should cross with anyone. Once you know people you know read your blog I am sure it changes how you write and what you say.

I did give her the synopsis of my recent activities. She was shocked that I have two paramours at the moment. asked a lot about how I met them and so on. She almost seemed to be taking notes. I felt a little slutty when I laid it out to someone else in the cold light of day. She wanted details and in the telling I lost a little of my shyness in the euphoria of telling it and reliving it as I did.

Turns out she has had some extra-marital experience herself. She kinda told me to make me feel less guilty as she said. Turns out she had me by a couple as she admitted to having had five separate flings in her I think nine year marriage. She explained that only one of them was an on=going thing but she broke that off when it got 'too intense'. The others, 'just happened'.

We talked about that and it seems she is open to cheating but has to feel like she hadn't sought it out. As I pointed out the end result is the same and she gets better quality if she influences the events...she seemed pretty open to that idea. She said she couldn't bring herself to hit on someone. She had had a lot of questions about Ashley-Madison and we basically left it that she was going to sneak onto there and 'have a look.' Not sure how I feel about being the corrupter of semi-innocent housewives. She actually is by the way, a housewife. Stays home, watches the kids. Doesn't do PTA. Does bake cookies. Like that.

We talked about how to handle me not having a willing hubby on my end as advertised. I was dangling the bait of Mark out there, but she didn't catch on or wasn't interested, not sure. She giggled that we should just go shopping and eat ice-cream and tell her hubby she got rode hard. I suggested maybe we just have some girl-girl time alone. She was enthusiastic about that idea. She pointed out it would probably be different to be alone together than to feel like we were performing for her hubby (Or my semi-imaginary one). We flirted with the idea of a pre-date date, but worried we would somehow give it away that we weren't surprised enough by each other.

I told her about Diana and how there is some tension there, but as co-workers its awkward and I don;t trust her not to say something, because she kinda speaks before she thinks sometimes. Not a good co-conspirator. I mentioned going to the bar with Diana at my husbands urging and she thought his being OK with that was curious. She said hers would totally go for it because as far as he was concerned she was reeling in a girl for a three-way.

We decided to tell her husband that mine is getting cold feet but is still somewhat open to the idea. That way there is no pressure to set a date that I may or may not have an alibi for.

When I logged in to write this I had several increasingly urgent messages from Gabe. He seemed miffed that I wasn't online to check in this morning. I kinda didn't like his tone. I didn't fire back as I considered as I do have fun with him. One of the messages said something about "You're probably tied up on a hot date?"

Not that it is any of his business. I have hinted with both Mark and Gabe that I have other interests in a way to let them know I am not interested in a formal arrangement. I mean really I am cheating!!..must I be faithful to a paramour?? I have been fairly explicit with Brian of course I took the analogy of his being a dildo in my drawer of sex-toys almost to saying almpst that way. Brian the dildo seemed to be a little more gentlemanly about despite his youth and inexperience than Gabe.

Damn! I just realized I didn't even mention Brian in my confessional with Jen. I'll have to go back to booth and say a few "Hail Jen's" or something. Weird I left him out.

Jen and I have phone-sex...

At least I did!

I decided that skulking about a payphone was silly so I waited till I knew I had some privacy today and used my sneaky phone after making sure I had plenty of airtime loaded up.

She picked up right away. Sounded even better than on her voice mail greeting. Seemed very genuine and engaging.

After a couple of minutes of "Hi, how are you" stuff, I got around to asking her if her other half was right there too?

She said he was in the room when I called but he 'hustled out of here to give me some privacy."

"Really?" I was kinda surprised at the gesture.

She laughed and explained, "He actually said 'I better go so I don't fuck it up!' referring to another semi-interested but nervous girl I had on the phone. He was asking me questions while I was talking to her and at some point she abruptly hung-up. he blames himself but I think she just was really that unsure."

That seemed funny. I said that I was a little nervous myself and she admitted as much...

We talked a bit about what her expectations were and his as well. We went over that and I was unprepared for what was pretty predictable.

"So how far is your husband OK with you going while you are here, and is he OK with us having our turn first or do I need to plan to visit you guys first?"

She went on to explain that her husband was hot enough for the idea that he was OK if I 'went first' but nervous about how he'd feel while waiting when he hadn't already had his turn so to speak.

This gave me time to recover. I admitted (truthfully) that we hadn't yet to give it enough thought and discussion to know what our boundaries will be. (None is in fact inadequate discussion) I had been sort of fishing with my even responding to the ad, not sure what I would do if I caught something..now I felt sure I wanted to meet them and most likely play, but how to tell them I am a cheating 'singleton' On the one hand I would bet money he'd go for it, I wondered if they would look down on me for cheating...I wondered how to approach it.

I hemmed an hawed around then finally came out with it.

I admitted I hadn't (yet) and possibly wouldn't tell hubby of my plans. I explained I thought he would more likely than not be appreciative, but it might lend some suspicion to other activities I had been engaging in....

She was intrigued. Suddenly I had a girlfriend I could unload a lot of delicious little secrets..I didn't go into details. I sure as hell didn;t point her to this blog. I admitted I had a couple of guys on the side at the moment. She was aghast and impressed. She hinted that although she wouldn't consider looking for it, she had had a couple of experiences in the (8ish?) years she was married. Now I was pretty sure her hubby was IN FACT out of the room...interesting tangle of intersecting obfuscations.

What I proposed to her was that we allow her husband to assume mine was on board and that ANYTHING that he wanted to do with me, he had to assume she would be green-lighted to do on her crosstown trip to our home. We figured we would put the reciprocal date into the future and postpone a couple of times and just play it by ear. I had some really kinky ideas about how that could play out but kept it to myself.

At some place I was a bit lost in reverie and was frankly teasing myself with a hand down my unbuttoned, unzipped and starting to get lost pants. I apparently trailed off a bit. She asked if I needed to go. I quickly said something like "No! Keep talking, please..."  I blushed red realizing my distraction showed and explained sort of that I was lost in a moment, but to go on...

She seemed to catch on...and her voice grew a little husky. She described several scenes had thought about with a nameless faceless third wheel girl in the mix...good details...

At some point she said just a moment...she got up and apparently went out to her husband and I caught only 'going well' and that she went back to what I guessed was their room. The door closed audibly, and she explained to me she bought us some more time.

I asked her how she imagined it going and were there any particular activities she wanted to avoid or definitely hit. She basically said she wanted to 'do it all' and actually looked foward to seeing her husband 'in action' from a different perspective was how she put it. Wow.

At some point she slipped into a narrative style that reminded me so much of the way I talk to my husband about a fantasy or a past experience...she started to get detailed...she HAD to know I was following along mentally and , in my way, physically. I actually got off twice during the conversation...my breathing had to have given me away as well as my vacant..mmm, yeah responses at times.

My favorite was where she described in great detail watching her husbands eyes as she 'unwrapped' me and laid me into his lap as she went down on me. she described I remember him holding and cradling me as my back arched......

Oh My.

I asked her "Are you sure you guys haven't done this before?"  Only a thousand times in my mind she responded.

Ok, now my dance card is REALLY full. I need a clone.

I ran into Diana before lunch so we ended up grabbing a corner table in the company snack canteen place. She didn't pry and I didn't give details about the needed alibi. I admitted to being a little insatiable in that I had a go at hubby when I got in. (Late.) She identified with how a really hot time can ramp up desire even more sometimes. I have no idea how I brought it up..it wasn't a slip but it wasn't planned, I mentioned (without details) that she had become a character in a little mind play with husband that night.

I had mentioned that I had made up a hot sounding outfit to go with my alibi..She laughed at that and had me describe it and corrected the minor details but said she actually was kinda dressed like that. Funny. Anyway I basically said that "It's my fault if hubby blushes next time you run into him." She hooted at that she said now she absolutely has to run into him sometime. If she only knew HOW involved her character was in that little fantasy play...on the other hand I think she'd like it.