Squirming in my seat.

It used to be fun to kind of which Derek squirming in his seat. Lately I have noticed that it is I that squirm a bit in my seat thinking about him thinking about me. Partly because of the discussion we had the other day, but mostly because he is the only one at work that knows that I mess around on the side.

He doesn't details, and I can't imagine a scenario where I would share that sort of thing with him but he knows. That I have at least once slipped out on my lunch hour and spent time with someone other than my husband. We all know people at sort who are involved with someone else here or outside of work, but this is different. Its a little secret that only he knows and that makes it kind of intimate.

I find myself lost at times not in fantasy exactly, he doesn't hit me in that way. But in a sort of daydream about what it is that he might be thinking and fantasizing about. I don;t feel like a tease because he has as much as said he just enjoys looking and doesn't expect anything, but I wonder how he thinks about me. I kind of wish he would say something explicit, but that would be totally out of character for him and kind of mess up the image I have of the wonderment he would experience if I did jump him, say in a closet, or the parkinglot, or my marital bed for example.

I imagine what his "O" face would look like. I picture him, possibly unrealistically, astounded at his good fortune in my kinky ministartaions...then I feel conceited to think that. But his personality suggests he would be in awe and grateful sort of and that is kind of sexy in it's own way. I can;t picture him taking the lead and that makes imigining it happening unrealistic feeling.

I didn't give details at all but I sort of role-played it with Brian after talking to Derek the other day. I just told Brian that his role was a pantyhose freak that could only get off with older ladies wearing pantyhose. I was of course picturing Derek and either my imagination was at work or the similarities in age lent it self well as Derek is I think only 3 years older than Brian. Brian doesn't share Derek's vocabulary and is more inclined towards the vulgar than I think Derek could ever speak, but it was easy to imagine. Brian creatively tore holes in my pantyhose with his teeth at least in the role-play and it was pretty hot.

I have a firm (no pun intended) with Marcus for after work tomorrow. It will be kind of a quickie as he hasn't a plausible alibi. I think that's better on my end too because I will be home probably before Alan and I won;t need to make up an excuse myself.

Marus is a pretty accomplished and intuitive lover so I can't see setting up some elaborate scene that is pre-scripted, but in this case I kind of did. I was asking if he had any requests, fetishes, costumes?  He laughed and said he always thought the sexiest lingerie was soft, naked skin...he said I could wear some tan-lines if I want. That made me giggle...we talked about fetishes in general, I more or less mentioned that I had an employee that seems to have a hose fetish, and he thought it hot that I dress up a bit to tease him. He suggested I wear something to tease Derek tomorrow and that whatever it is will suit him, and that I shouldn;t plan on having it on very long.

He did mention that tanlines "twang" him again, and it made me want to hit a tanning bed and get some really defined ones. I asked him about what it is about them, and he didn't know other than a child-hood thing where he noticed when girls switched suits and it seemed like you were getting a peek at something that was supposed to be private. So based on that it seems I should get a tan wearing a very modest bikini and then wear skimpier panties to show the contrast. Kinda complicated to think about.

On my end when asked, I admitted that I had kind of fantasized about being 'fucked every-which-way' last time.

"I thought we sort of did.."

I blushing clarified that I had imagined in my head everything and had to explain having put that out there that I had pictured a kinky assignation including a little anal play. He assured me he would fuck my ass good..That made it sound uncomfortable, or maybe it was just talking about it did. He admitted that he found the idea appealing, but hadn't even attempted as many women including his wife do not enjoy or are completely unwilling, so he has found it best not to press unless offered explicitly. Makes sense.


Speaking of complicated, I also made a date for hubby and I for after my date with Marcus. I warned him to be prepared because I am in a very kinky mood. I have in mind repeating with him whatever it is that Marcus and I get up to. See if I can handle it being reminded like that.

Tentatively, we are going to try a strip club again. I told him to pick out something for me to wear to it. I told him to aim for s-l-u-t-t-y this time. He thought that sounded fun. He is supposed to pick it out tonight in case I have to wash something. Be interesting to see what he picks.